Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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