You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
