Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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