I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
