mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
