I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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