Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
