you traded sex for a burrito?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize