The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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