Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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