Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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