She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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