have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
