i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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