I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
