The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
