In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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