I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize