I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
