She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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