guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
