Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
