Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
