i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
