I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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