I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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