Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
