Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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