the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He better not be in your backpack
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
