I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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