so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
