Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
