why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
