At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
