hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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