why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
