I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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