I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
