i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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