I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
