She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
