can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize