My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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