A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
