these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
