I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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