also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
