Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
high people should be assigned attendants
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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