Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
