i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
