dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
