How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
