I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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