He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize