and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Randomize
