I want to walk on stilts...naked
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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