Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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