her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
There's always time for handjobs
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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