It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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