I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
