I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
