More tranny stories later!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
