I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
